So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize