You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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