You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
