I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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