the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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