The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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