I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I enjoy the company of your penis
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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