I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
