shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
