I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
