sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
