I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
