My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
