I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
