Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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