I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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