Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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