Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
