sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
