i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
