Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
