; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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