I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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