She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
