God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
