Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
