it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
bring money and cleavage
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
