Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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