You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
