I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
