i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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