well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
