Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My penis needs a shock collar
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Randomize
