are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
