do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize