Where did you get a picture of my penis
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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