He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
