Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize