the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
