i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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