Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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