At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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