i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
