just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
