what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
