he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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