you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
vagina is talking i cant
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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