I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
