make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
