2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
