ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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