So drunk its hurt
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
