Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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