Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
