she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
