but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
