I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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