I'm gonna have a badass scar
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
