Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
