Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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